I'm on Etsy!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

What Women Want, and How to Plan for it.

In today's world, women can be anything they want to be.

I'm glad that we have so many choices. When we are graduating high school and going into college, the possibilities are endless. Should we be doctors or lawyers or the president of the United States? Whatever we decide, we'll be sure to follow our dreams. 

But when we get to be about twenty-five, many of us start to realize that our dreams might be different. Maybe what we want is really to get married, have babies, and stay home to take care of them. But by the time we turn twenty five, many of us have finished our bachelor's degrees and maybe our master's degrees, but we are no where near finished paying for them. At this point, we don't have many options. We have to keep working until we pay off our student loans. Hopefully we took out those student loans in order to obtain a high paying job, and we are not, say, private school music teachers who take home $1,400 a month. But that is another post altogether. One I hope to get to soon.

Why didn't we realize that we would want to stay home with our kids? I think it's because our culture is so concerned about women's rights and equal pay and respect and all that, that there are not many voices telling us that it is a good thing to stay home. A better thing. Therefore, it is something that many of us don't think about and plan for until it's too late. And it is something that must be planned for.

Here are some ways to plan ahead:

1. Are you about to start college? Do everything you can to avoid loans. Go to a cheaper school, maybe a two year school. Maybe take a year or two to save up while you work full time. Work and go to school at the same time. Do you need a master's degree? Not if you want to stay home with your kids. (You can always get one when your kids are older if you still want one). Do you even need a bachelor's degree? Not really. Of course, college is so fun, I would hate for you to miss it. But as far as learning goes, I found that I learned a lot more after college when I started voraciously reading books and directing my own education towards what I was interested in. This kind of education may not lead to a job, unless you're creative. But it can lead to self employment, which has more earning potential. I only skimmed this article, but it has something interesting things to think about when it comes to self employment.

2. Save up and pay cash for a reliable, oldish, used car. Often, the only thing keeping women at work is a car payment. I do not think that you would choose driving a new car over staying home with your children.

3. Before you buy a home, find one that will fit your future lifestyle with children, and will fit into a husband-only earning budget. If you have to sell your house, you will be paying a 6% fee to the realtors. On a $150,000 house, that's $9,000! I would suggest that you a rent a small, inexpensive apartment before you have kids, and save up for a big down payment on a house that fits your budget. Many women feel that they have to work because of their house payment. It is just another choice to make. Live in a big house with granite counter-tops, or stay home with your kids. I always hear people say that renting is throwing money down the drain, but in situations like this, it makes sense.

4. Make a plan for your money. Don't let it go anywhere without you putting it down on paper ahead of time. When you make the decision to stay home with your future kids, arrange your budget so you live on your husbands, and your income goes first to pay off all of your debts (except your house) and when that is done, to building up your savings account.

5. Choose your husband wisely. Pick a man who will support your effort to stay home. Pick a man who is responsible and has a good job; a man who is moving up in the world. I'm not saying he needs to be a CEO, just that he needs to be a hard worker. As wives, we play a role in encouraging our husbands to reach their full potential. If we build our husbands up instead of tearing them down, they will feel more confident, and likely make more money. 

I chose wisely.
I encourage you to talk to your daughters, sisters, cousins, and young friends about their futures and how to plan for them.

Do you have any other ideas about how to stay home with your kids?

Writing this post gave me so many ideas about other topics I should cover soon. Look out for these:
2. Why you and your spouse should have a joint checking account.
3. How to make a plan for your money.
4. Don't take out expensive student loans for a job that won't pay well.


  1. There are so many wonderful things I could say about this post but what I really want to say is, "Your dress was gorgeous!!!!" LOVE IT!

    1. Thank you! I'm afraid it doesn't fit me anymore. Ha!

  2. This is awesome! I'm so glad I get to stay at home!